Friday, December 16, 2011

Making an Effort

I’ve never been so tired
or felt so damn alive,
I’ve wallowed uninspired
but now I long to thrive
forgetting I was mired
and barely did survive.

We seldom face the facts
until it’s time to die
our peevish pride retracts
and we at last see why
the greatest of our acts
is learning how to try.

***Hi all! Boy this year surely flew by, but as it draws to a close I get a bit tired looking back. This week has been extremely busy including a visit from our local TV station’s morning crew delivering 2 dozen cupcakes we won in a holiday cheer contest. Of course the clincher was my grandson Westin pouting for a cupcake in the picture we entered on facebook. You can check it at WTEN on their page.

Tonight the whole main street area around our diner is having a ‘Winter Mixer’ – so we will be open for dinner (normally breakfast-lunch) and are having live acoustic entertainment as well, provided by myself and Tom and George from the bands 3 of a Kind and The Rogues. These two guys have jammed together for 40 years and they are super talented and really harmonize so well with each other, I get excited to just listen to them, now I’m honored to participate. Last year was the first such event and it went over so well, it should be even better this year with milder temps and no snow. Then my wife and I get to clean up, get out of there who knows when, and get back up at 4 am to open for Saturday – whew.

Christmas wasn’t always my favorite holiday as my late mother’s drinking and misery really seemed to escalate then after my parents split, I think in some ways it symbolized the failure she perceived her life to be. I’ll never forget coming home one day just before her 40th birthday and she just sat sobbing uncontrollably clutching a book to her chest so tightly her knuckles were white. I later found out from my sister it was her yearbook and I couldn’t help wondering how her life had scarred her so badly because she never spoke of it, at least that I know of. I miss her terribly but feel the chains of previous misfortunes finally starting to loosen. Unfortunately this time of year is heavily tied up in memories and bad ones can really spoil the mood, but I choose to savor the ones from youth when she was vibrant and healthy. She’d set up her manger scene on the mantle and I’d help bake cookies, oh the smells! She really was such a loving person and that is how she will always be remembered by me.

I want to thank everyone that has stopped by and for all the encouraging comments; I truly hope you and yours have a chance to make some memories worth keeping this year and for years to come. Peace.***


Scarlet said...

Hopefully it is the happy and warm memories that we keep and treasure for Christmas...Happy holidays ~

Chèvrefeuille said...

Hi RCH Thanks for visiting my haiku-blog. I have read some of your poems. I love them. Thank you for sharing.

And ... well visit my haiku-blog again ... if you will some day :)

a tiny verse
flowing through my veins
with Japanese blood

Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year with lots of inspiration

rch said...

Hi Heaven, yes those are the ones that count.

Hey Chev, I really like your blog and will visit often, thanks for checking mine.

Paul Andrew Russell said...

Happy Holidays, Bob. :-)