Tuesday, November 30, 2021


Who or what will the savior be
When they roll him out to rule us
Proclaiming his love for humanity
How deviously he’ll fool us

They’ll put his face on every screen
To blast his devilish doctrine
Unapologetically obscene
To an audience that’s locked in

And just as it was once foretold
He’ll demand to be exalted
And as I watch it all unfold
I know it can’t be halted.

Monday, November 29, 2021

Camo Season

It’s that time of year
When leaves fall down
And once they are sere
They curl and turn brown

So don’t be remiss
If you have a dog
Or ask yourself this
Is it a leaf or a log?

Sunday, November 28, 2021


A pinch of this, a dash of that
A lack of spice can leave you flat
The insignificant turns immense
Immersing every single sense.

Saturday, November 27, 2021


I know, you thought we were done
But I’m serving up one more pun
So prepare to squeeze
Your nose if you please
For the turkey toots have begun.

Friday, November 26, 2021


The deviled eggs look like hell
They didn’t want to shed their shell
For they never had a chance to shine
When next to cheesecake so divine.

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Exchanging Recipes

I think of all the bonds I broke
And all the times that I misspoke
Or really practiced just to choke
Which made me come unglued

But then I humbly bow my head
And thank The Lord for this fine bread
And choose to make my goal instead
Expressing gratitude.

Wednesday, November 24, 2021


It’s hard to watch the sky
When you have a little guy
Just yanking you along
His tiny frame so strong
And I said to him, “Sheesh
You almost broke the leash!”
But he kept pulling tight
Like the captured satellite
That glows with such intensity
Impatient to be free.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021


Those who lack a life
Feel worthy when they give
A heap of pointless strife
To folks that seek to live
Without the need to spar

A barstool can provide
A perch to rest and drink
But it’s no place for snide
Remarks from drunks who think
It’s normal to live in a bar.

Monday, November 22, 2021


A paper package, flattened, faded red
With a greasy yellow M upon it said
’Caution—contents hot’ but nothing was there
Much like the empty promise of satisfying fare.

Sunday, November 21, 2021


There goes Billy Badass
The turbo tweeting loud
In his decked out heavy duty diesel ram

With the current price of gas
You’d think he’d be less proud
And somehow find a redneck way to cram

His Budweiser-bloated mass
Into the shrunken shroud
Of a smart car, but he doesn’t give a damn.

Saturday, November 20, 2021


A milestone draws near
(at least for me)
I’ve stacked another tier
(and that makes three)
The walls are getting sheer
Will it all just disappear?
I guess we’ll see.

Friday, November 19, 2021


I fed the black hole
A galaxy of stars
(at least enough to fill a modest pan)
But gravity took a toll
My waistband shows the scars
Good thing I didn’t make another can.

Thursday, November 18, 2021


On any given day
I tend to fluctuate
Just one asshole away
From happy to irate

I wish I could make
The world a better place
But I can’t even take
Bad drivers with grace.

Wednesday, November 17, 2021


He jumped aboard the strange machine
And grabbed the ancient helm
Then pushed a button blinking green
To leave his current realm

He warped his way through many lands
Both boring and bizarre
From desert worlds with diamond sand
To seas of thick black tar

Unsure if he should take a stab
At finding his way home
To carry on his life (so drab)
He chose to ever roam.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021


It’s really quite plain:
If you aren’t able to abstain
From pursuing the profane
In hell you will remain.

Monday, November 15, 2021


It isn’t looking too good for me
A slave to the state I’ll never be
I believe in science (done properly)
But not when used to coerce the free

To sacrifice their own self worth
And rights reserved upon their birth
So traitors with financial girth
Can hand the dark a docile earth.

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Just Shy

Amber, ocher, and vermilion
Decorate the fall cotillion
Dainty debutantes will cluster
Scattered by an old man’s bluster
To float around the dim pavilion
With all the coyness they can muster.

Saturday, November 13, 2021


The sauced-up suitor
Went on the computer
Looking for someone to love
He fancied a tumble
With somebody humble
That looked like an angel above

He found a chick willing
And sat there just spilling
His heart out in hopes of a score
A couple days later
Like a muffled vibrator
He heard a soft knock on the door.

They chatted politely
Him smiling brightly
While wondering what he should do
When she said, “No maybe,
I want you baby.”
And a passionate night would ensue,

He woke in the morning
A brief note adorning
His mirror as the alarm clock sobbed
It said, ’Sorry Honey
I took all your money.’

But somehow he didn’t feel robbed.

Friday, November 12, 2021


Life’s too short to stay upset
So remember this whenever you fret:
Whatever happened will surely pass
Keep on smiling when kicked in the ass.

Thursday, November 11, 2021

Famous Last Words

Each taste I’ve had
Was just a lick
In ways I’m glad
It didn’t stick
I may be mad
But I’m not sick
For every fad
Is over quick.

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Air Cover

Like a little orange jet it flew
Just to land within a few
Feet of my sore feet

It stuck there in the muddy soil
As though resting from it’s toil
Surrounded by the fleet

That likewise left the hangar bare
Until the spring recruits are there
To fight the summer heat.

Tuesday, November 09, 2021

On Track

I heard the train chugging through the fog
But couldn’t see it till I neared the rails
And still I knew that every bolt and cog

Was there and working as it was designed,
So on we walked, the dogs with wagging tails,
And me relieved I hadn’t (yet) lost my mind.

Monday, November 08, 2021


Those that can
Simply do
Those who can’t
Pass their rue

On to those
Who were done
So it goes
Work ain’t fun.

Sunday, November 07, 2021


The musty smell of rotting leaves
The scent a summer lover grieves
It lingers in the autumn air
Like wispy roving of despair
That threads the loom on which the Maker weaves.

Saturday, November 06, 2021


Dahlia’s trying to bloom
But Jack won’t give her room
His icy unrelenting grip
A date with doom

She tried her best to nip
It in the bud, but couldn’t slip
His sparkling advance
Turned power trip

It only takes one glance
To see her only chance
Is ending (expeditiously)
This deadly dance.

Friday, November 05, 2021


The urbanites
Demand delights
As taxes hit
Record heights

The common man
Has a hollow pan
To pay for shit
The peons plan.

Thursday, November 04, 2021


I could care less
But I don’t

You should finesse
But you won’t

We would be fine
But we’re not

You crossed the line
And I’m hot.

Wednesday, November 03, 2021


If you only keep droning the lie
But never once utter a ‘why?’
I urge you my friend to refrain
From handing these psychos your brain
The smirking deceivers so smug
For they know that you’ll never unplug.

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Tuesday, November 02, 2021


Don’t get too invested
It’s best to be rested
So your mind can go wandering at will

Your patience was tested
But patrons ingested
Much more than the usual swill

And once they’ve requested
Your fare uncontested
You’ll probably be chained to the grill.

Monday, November 01, 2021


The lush is a leech
Draining all within reach
The blonde is a bitch
But I don’t give a stitch
The idiot irks
That’s work, full of jerks
But dawn helps inspire
Cessation of ire.