She watched the glowing screen erupt in snow
and cursed into the darkness as she knelt
her power cells were dangerously low
the audio as static as she felt,
there didn't seem to be another ship
in hailing distance that could hear her plea
in fact she didn't see a single blip
and slowly crawled to incubator three.
She thought about the day she had agreed,
an eager kid with dreams as big as space
impatient to behold a different sun,
her craft was like a giant silver seed
intended to help propagate the race
too bad that her delivery was done.
Are You Reading Me?
18 comments:
Wow! this is a real ponderer.... I love the mysterious point of view...
Perhaps done only for this voyage? A battery recharge, a little distance and ... But only if the incubator is the womb itself, oddly alive here without a host consciousnesses. This poem is niggling at me, making me think--not something easy to do during miscarriage.
Stunning!
As a sci-fi fan, I marvel at how well conceived your scenario is, and how skillfully conveyed in rhyme. As a mother, I read beyond the upper layer and consider the loneliness and failure of miscarriage; as a student of literature, I see a bigger picture - that of man's constant need to push the barriers of possibility, and all the many miscarriages of virtue that ensue.
i liked how your married sci-fi and poetry. great work! good play on the word 'miscarried" for this work.
Miscarried dreams, disillusionment, fruitless sacrifice - I can feel the static.
Great stuff!! When a thought is coupled with emotions the combined energies create magic. That's what happened with words and emotions here!Marvelous!
Wonderful. This makes me want to know more...you have caught my attention.
I don't read a lot of SciFi, because it's not my favorite genre, but your poem took me to other worlds, and I thank you.
Origami Pheasant
Such a well-written piece, mysterious but vivid details throughout. Fantastic rhyming, too.
very cool...sci fi poetry...dont know that i have stumbled on that before...cool premise for a larger story....
This is new! I'm also a sci-fi fan, so this intrigued and delighted me--could definitely be more, right? Nicely done! :-)
I read it straight as per the title and it rang very true for me since I've lived that time and written lots of poetry about it
Love this. Tried several takes on it. In all of them the last line came out a Wow!
What a clever reinterpretation of miscarriage. Like it a lot.
this brings back a lot of feelings---
What a fascinating science fiction piece! Seems to be about the failure of an astronaut in colonizing a distant planet. Imaginative.
Thanks a lot for these comments. This one actually got me out of bed the other night when it popped in my head, I couldn't type fast enough. I was excited because it seemed to have some promise but I think we always feel that way immediately after the fact, at least I do, so I didn't lose sleep over it just waited till Sunday so I could put it in the pantry and get some feedback which seems pretty positive so now I'm working on part two.
Post a Comment