Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Offed

I finally had a freaking day off
So I could recuperate (cough)
But first had dishes to scrub
Then I cooked yummy grub
Which led to the routine
Of scouring utensils clean.
The hamper was piled so high
It looked me square in the eye
But began to slowly erode
Load by tedious load.
In between these joyous jobs
I had to dust (we’re such slobs)
And walk the dogs, feed the cats
I wish I could remove these hats!
I took a day off, whatever for?
Now I’m so dead I need two more.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

NEVER Use THEIR Words

When you hear the word Transparency
You know that someone’s lying
And if they scream Diversity
Your kind is surely dying
Should lazy types chant Equity
Your modest means are taken
And run from Inclusivity
Be smothered or AWAKEN.

Monday, March 11, 2024

Subterranean

The florist around the corner
Made a new arrangement
They found him in the cooler
The bouquet rather fragrant

It laid there right beside his head
A single growing bloom
That was a sickly shade of red
And redolent of doom.

Some don’t share what hurts them
They simply choose to shoot
And endless nagging questions stem
From never knowing the root.

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Curtain Call

The swan song is belted off key
Whenever there’s a show
A diva in the first degree
Madame Butterfly has got to go.

Saturday, March 09, 2024

Back to Work

I was giving my brain a break
Now I’m giving it a shake
To see what kind of pithy rhyme I can possibly make

Between my endless chores
I sift through whys and what fors
Searching for a turn of phrase that ultimately soars

So read a line or two
I put them here for all of you
Now pardon me if you please, there’s much I have to do.

Friday, March 08, 2024

Back Door Deal

They told me
You can’t say THIS
So THIS is what I say
It’s clearly
Just an aegis
Free thinkers won’t obey

Write your laws
And make new rules
As much as you can pass
Here’s a clause
For all you fools
Stick them right up your ass!

Thursday, March 07, 2024

💩 Platter

Getting tired of cold defeat
So sickeningly stale
How much more can you eat
Before you seek a pail?
Your banquet isn’t quite the feast
You fancied when you left the east.

Wednesday, March 06, 2024

Bitter Harvest

I try to feel genuine love
For those whom I don’t even like
And pray for the strength from above
When I’d rather be poked with a spike
And I’m not judging anyone
But the querulous I tend to shun.

I struggle to open my heart
With the innocent trust of a child
As I watch the world fall apart
And think if I had only just smiled
perhaps there wouldn’t be a foe

I'm reaping what I chose to sow.

Tuesday, March 05, 2024

Fast

This coffee is as bitter
As my sins must be to you
Forgive this lowly critter
I’ll try to be more true

A well-intentioned slacker
With nothing much to show
Whose heart is sometimes blacker
Than this steaming cup of joe

I shall forego consuming
Until I cleanse my mind
And remember once resuming
How quickly I declined.

Monday, March 04, 2024

Hail

The rain of spring has just begun
Before the coronation
When we see the moon and sun
Get equal adulation
Although the mud is not much fun
Let’s join the celebration
The reign of Spring has just begun.

Sunday, March 03, 2024

🐒 Business

If I can hear it
I can play it
If I can think it
Should I say it?

If I can see it
I can wing it
Feel you own it?
Better bring it!

If I can taste it
I can stew it
Never waste it
Simply do it.

Saturday, March 02, 2024

You Were Warned

Here’s a little PSA:
Don’t eat good gummies during the day
And for those who just don’t give a crap
Enjoy your nap.

Friday, March 01, 2024

To Order

When a ticket says add salt to fries
It kind of implies
My salinity is not up to snuff
When serving to Fred
I think in my head
Choke, is that salty enough?

Thursday, February 29, 2024

Forced March

Whenever I leap I land afoul
Of all my desires somehow
I'm done wanting anything *scowl*

I’ll simply write my lines each day
Just like I do now
Oblivious to hints of May.

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Dispensed

It's better when you have a smaller hole
much easier to clean and control
now exit the gutter please
I'm talking about a bag of pretzel cheese.