Pets

I read the wry rebuttals on the board
as highly educated minds dispense
their over-written tripe and then commence
to gripe about who may have truly scored
an instant classic; and there’s the old coot
(of course) proclaimed as ‘He Who Knows It All’
concocting quips with aggravating gall
that make you wish you had a gun to shoot
him dead. But then, you’d more than likely miss
and have to suffer through his evil taunts,
or worse yet hear stories of anal haunts
while he recounts his boyish backdoor bliss.
I try to fit in, but never quite click—
it seems I’m inept at stroking a prick.