I stare into that rheumy pane
upon a dark and puffy sill,
framed by silver flowing mane
and see a light that glimmers still.
Interred within this sterile tomb
I wonder why you do not cry,
as helpless as a babe in womb
perhaps your tears will not comply.
A cold and withered hand I grasp
some grand design I sorely doubt;
on vigil till that last dry gasp
signifies the spark’s gone out.
I hear a thin metallic tone
the waning warmth completely fades
your creaky prison now lies prone
through tranquil surf your spirit wades.
15 comments:
Bob,
I remember the first time I read this. It made me cry as I couldn't help hearing that you had lost someone very special in your life. It's one of the most revealing poems you've written and I still think it's a sad but beautiful portrait of your heart. –Shirley
Gee, sorry I made you cry, I just added the last verse so I'm glad you still like it. Thanks, as always Shirley, you're the best! Take care,
Bob
This is a powerful piece of writing. Very well written and full of emotive imagery. I'm pleased you posted this again, as I am new to your blog and hadn't read it before.
Strong, beautiful piece. The strength of your writing contrasts the frailty of aging.
This is a beautiful response to the prompt! Great post!
-Weasel
This was beautiful in a bittersweet way. I loved the way it flowed.
I could so relate to the sentiment. Held the hand of a friend dying of cancer last year. I missed seeing her alert by one day. Yet I held her hand and said I loved her. Knowing she was already gone...the her that I knew.
Then losing my dad in hospice last year too.
This poem truly captures the emotion...
alaurilee
Hi Paul, thanks and I'm glad some of my stuff is being read by new eyes (pun intended) that's why I signed up with this outfit.
Hey Brenda, thanks a lot.
Hi Weasel, great I'm glad you liked it.
Hi Alaurilee, thanks, it's hard to lose anyone close, my condolences to you.
I so admire this poem for a number of reasons. The perfection of the metre and rhyme, for one, which isnt easy. And your choice of words is exceptional. I especially admire: "see a light that glimmers still", "that last dry gasp.....the soark's gone out", and your last line, "through tranquil surf your spirit wades" is brilliant.
So well done!
You've captured the emotions around that difficult time. Moving, well expressed.
Such depthful sadness expressed in this poem, and the picture..oh the picture goes SO well with your words.
Such beautiful imagery! I could actually see the newly freed spirit moving through surf to embrace tranquility. It is what we hope for as our loved ones depart....
Lynette
Deeply moved by this poem, thank for sharing it is great to come by this wonderful blog=D
Bob, this is an amazing poem, full of emotion that is hard to put into words, but you did it so eloquently. You are a true poet indeed...thank you for sharing this with us.
Hi Sherry, thanks a lot I'm glad you liked the end because that came much later, I wanted to end it on a positive note.
Hi Mary, thanks I tried.
Hi Diane, the picture is what got the words flowing, thanks.
Hi Lynette, thanks Like I said above, I wanted that note of redemption in there.
Thanks a lot Riik I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Hey Carrie, well thanks, that is quite a compliment :)
I will be around to read the rest of the entries, can't wait!
Robert,
What a 'lump-in-the-throat' read, but a pleasure to do so.
Written with such palpable respect for a very sad moment in life.
Thank you Robert, for sharing those words and that experience.
Best wishes, Eileen
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