Different Beat

When I started to suffer

I sought to buffer

Myself from the rest of the world

Words were my refuge 

Against the cold deluge 

Of pain that life constantly hurled

I took every lashing

My baby teeth gnashing

Withdrawing with each throbbing welt

I can still see it clearly

Someone I loved dearly

Unwinding that red leather belt

The shattered illusion

Created confusion

Abandonment issues ballooned 

Apologies inferior 

When I looked in the mirror

And saw the unwarranted wound

I remember the staring

Of those who were caring

That asked if I had taken a fall

“Yes I just tumbled.“

I reluctantly mumbled

There was nothing more, that was all

I continued escaping 

The ignorant gaping

Of those who would never understand 

And then began writing

Completely delighting 

In solitude’s lack of demand

My pen isn’t fancy

My temperament chancy 

But I managed to somehow survive

I’ll keep grinding verses

Till my spirit disperses

When I am no longer alive.