Altruism

Tonight on my way home from another long day
I stopped at the market for coffee and lotto,
exhaustion pulling at my sunken eyes,
the need to be home in my own little space
(as hand-me-down as it is)
my sole motivation,
but as I near the counter
I see a hunched over person who
in an overly apologetic voice
asks how much the cheapest cigarettes are;
he flashes a guilty glance my way
and I can see the fear of living
reflected in his furtive eyes,
then I hear the splash of random change
and inwardly sigh
knowing my homeward trek
has been momentarily derailed.

I watch his cracked and soiled fingernails
sorting through the pile of coins,
my own detached digits
caressing the jaded tokens of greed
that line my pockets,
reluctant to intercede and possibly destroy
what may be left of whatever pride
he once had;
finally the last penny is tallied,
his defeated shoulders sink even deeper
and he turns to go empty handed
until I lean over to drop
two shiny quarters on the counter.

“Thank you sir, thank you, thanks.” He stammers
barely able to meet my gaze,
I smile half-heartedly
aware my true incentive is getting home
(damn my honesty)
and turn to conduct my business
resisting the urge to playfully say
“You know those things will kill you.”
because the profuseness of his gratitude told me
he already knew.